Braving Your Faith and Finding God Again
Updated: Apr 14, 2020
By Chelsea Ohlemiller
God's Brave Women - Chelsea's Story
I grew up surrounded by the Catholic faith and family that believed in the Lord and his influence fiercely. I grew up with a mother who lived by that strong faith, each and every day. When I was little I was just like her. But then, I grew up.
Barely into true adulthood, the Lord took my mother from me. And in the instant he called her home, he became a stranger. He became an enemy. He became a lost influence on my heart and life.
The day I lost my mother, I also lost my faith.
"The day I lost my mother, I also lost my faith."
Grief is hard. It’s complicated. It had suddenly stolen part of my heart, and also part of my identity. In an instant, I no longer considered myself a Catholic woman. Suddenly, I was no longer a person living in faith or Christianity.
My pain was immense and I needed someone to blame. Naturally, you blame the person who has been there the longest. The person in charge. The person calling the shots. That person was God. He became the keeper of death’s responsibility and the cause and root of my loss.
It was a messy year after my mother passed. I walked with debilitating heartbreak each and every day. That year, I lost my mother and God. Losing both, felt like losing key pieces of my being. It felt like losing pieces of my existence. Nothing seemed to take the pain away. Nothing alleviated the immense ache in my soul. Nothing.