God's Brave Women - Anna's Story

God's Brave Women - Anna's Story

At some point in my life I started learning about what it means to be brave. Maybe it was when I was a child and saw firefighters run into a burning building on TV. Maybe it was when I got on stage for one of my first auditions and totally forgot all the words to the song I was supposed to sing. Maybe it was when I faced bullying, or when I escaped a sexually abusive relationship, or when I fought back when I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. But then again, maybe all of those events in my life were building blocks that were preparing me for something else… Something that required a different type of bravery in the face of uncertainty, grief, and pain.

During the birth of my first child, I was damaged both externally and internally in some very private areas. I did not know the extent of the damage that was done until two and half years later. But in that time span, I faced a great amount of pain and trauma that would force me to be brave on multiple occasions.

Unfortunately, my doctor brushed off the trauma my delivery had caused me. Without sharing too many messy details, I’ll just say I suffered damage that developed a very odd tunnel connection between my private body parts, known as a fistula. She said I had some odd luck, but I would be alright. It wouldn’t be the first time I would hear those words.

Some time passed and the damage did seem to heal on the surface. What I didn’t know was that deep inside me this tunnel did not fully close and instead, festered and created a buildup of bacteria. Eventually this build up would cause pockets of infection that would form in surrounding deep tissue, leading me to have excruciatingly painful abscesses in some of my most sensitive areas.

For the next two and half years, I would be in the operating room, being cut open under anesthesia to drain these abscesses. The recovery was brutal each time, with the same answer from the surgeons: “You just have some really bad luck”. I’ll say…

By my third abscess, I realized my own strength and courage was starting to diminish. The pain was getting to be too much. I didn’t know if I could go on being brave any longer, but I couldn’t give up. I began to rely heavily on God and asked Him for courage to endure the pain I was facing. He was always faithful in providing that bravery to me with each operation.

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