Bravely Staying in a Broken Marriage: Believing God for Restoration
By Amanda Davison
God's Brave Women - Amanda's Story
Earlier that day I told my husband I was done with our marriage. During a heated exchange I took our two kids and left, with no intention of coming back. But in the hours that followed I flung my anger at God and asked him to affirm my decision.
Instead, God gently suggested I had tried everything I knew to save my marriage and fix my husband…except Him. Stunned, he also revealed it might not be my husband that needs to do all the changing. Ouch.
"God gently suggested I had tried everything I knew to save my marriage and fix my husband… except Him."
So after hours of driving, I walked back through the door I’d walked out of, and went straight to our bedroom. I didn’t want to talk. I didn’t know what to say.
How can you explain to someone something you don’t know what to make sense of?
While there was much I was confused about in our marriage, I did know this far-off God I had always used as some side dish to the life I was making for myself was asking me to stay and to try it his way. So eventually, I mustered up the words to explain the only thing I knew.
“I don’t want a divorce, but I don’t know how to make this work.”
For me, deciding to stay in my marriage when I had no idea if it really could be fixed, or what I was supposed to do next, was the bravest thing I’ve ever done.
"Deciding to stay in my marriage when I had no idea if it really could be fixed, or what I was supposed to do next, was the bravest thing I’ve ever done."
Being brave feels frightening because it forces us to accept the unknown factors and unanswered questions. Brave calls us toward vulnerability, while there is no guarantee a beneficial outcome or exchange. Being brave feels risky.
Sometimes the bravest things we do require the least amount of words. Courage to respond to the Lord’s prompting might at times be only known by you and the Lord. But bravery in the Kingdom always involves knowing there’s another option and deciding to act in obedience in the direction you know the Lord is asking you to move.
"Courage to respond to the Lord’s prompting might at times be only known by you and the Lord. But bravery in the Kingdom always involves knowing there’s another option and deciding to act in obedience in the direction you know the Lord is asking you to move."
At the core of being brave is trust. Trusting God enough to allow Him to do what only He can do. Having enough hope that God will give you what you need in each moment. Believing enough that he’s called you to be the one to say it, to not say it, to do it, or to not do it.
"At the core of being brave is trust. Trusting God enough to allow Him to do what only He can do."
This very vulnerable act of bravery of staying in my marriage led me toward surrendering my life to Jesus that weekend. It led my husband and I down a path of restoration and our family toward freedom. Years later the Lord would call me to share what He did and what he was teaching me with other wives, and I would again have to decide to submit my fear and claim bravery.
"This very vulnerable act of bravery of staying in my marriage led me toward surrendering my life to Jesus... It led my husband and I down a path of restoration and our family toward freedom."
Regardless of whether what the Lord asks of you will be known or unseen, may we all respond with bravery. Just like David did when he responded to the Lord in Psalm 116:16, may we say “O Lord, truly I am Your servant; I am Your servant, the son of Your handmaid; You have unfastened my chains.”
What a gift of brave thanks our lives might be, as we humbly surrender to the King who has set us free.
Brave Woman Manifesto
Make sure to check back next week as another courageous Sister shares her story.
And by the way...
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About Amanda
Amanda Davison is the Founder and President of the nonprofit, A Wife Like Me. This national team of speakers, writers, podcasters, and counselors collaborate to serve wives across the globe in their uniqueness, igniting their passion and potential to impact others in their spheres of influence, first and foremost being in their homes. She is the co-author of Dear Wife: 10 Minute Invitations to Practice Connection with Your Husband, a speaker, and teaches at her local church where she and her husband lead the marriage mentor team. She is the wife to a Minnesota farmer, mother of three, and lover of ice cream.
You can be a part of the growing community of wives on Facebook, Instagram, or the Wife Like Me Podcast. You can also join the wives intentionally growing their faith and marriages in the A Wife Like Me Collective. Make sure to visit awifelikeme.com and subscribe in order to find many helpful resources for your marriage or the marriages of those you know and love.