Choosing Courage in Uncertain Days

By Stephanie Roberts

God's Brave Women - Stephanie's Story

We are living in uncertain days. The days of a global pandemic that leave us all needing a little bravery. Many of us feel like our world has been stripped away over the past few weeks: schedules altered, school cancelled, events postponed, maybe even jobs or financial security lost. A virus that was once a quick mention of what was happening in foreign lands has now become the very thing defining our every move. It won’t last forever, but when it is gone, we will all need an extra dose of bravery to pick up the pieces and embrace the changes to our daily lives. I have found that when I need courage to face the days ahead, the best thing I can do is look to the past when God has proven Himself faithful. Because without His faithfulness, our bravery is nothing more than folly.

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"I have found that when I need courage to face the days ahead, the best thing I can do is look to the past when God has proven Himself faithful. Because without His faithfulness, our bravery is nothing more than folly."

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It is true that crises of health can be life-altering, and our family is no stranger to that reality. Two years ago, while awaiting the birth of our second baby boy, I thought I had life all figured out. Our family served as missionaries in Guatemala. Our ministry there was just getting started, but it was a lifelong dream finally fulfilled. We returned to the States for my C-section, eager to return to Guatemala as a family of four, continuing our mission of “discipling orphans to change the world.” We were wide-eyed and excited to be living out the calling that God had given us, thinking this would be how we would live out our days on this earth.

Three months later I would find myself on an airplane begging God to help me get my two-month-old son back to the States in stable condition. I never felt more alone than waiting in the long customs line in Atlanta after our first flight. I was surrounded by people exchanging stories of their exotic adventures on tropical beaches without a care in the world. Occasionally someone would catch a glance of the sweet baby strapped to my chest, never realizing the crisis he and I were facing. No one around me knew that his dad and I took turns holding him all night the night before as he screamed for air, taking 90 breaths a minute, watching his tiny, frail body as he fought for his life. No one in that airport knew that I was more terrified than I had ever been in my life. No one knew how our family’s world was about to be turned upside down, our dreams shattered into a million pieces. No one knew how brave I would have to be as we faced the months ahead. Not even me. The days and weeks that followed were a whirlwind of doctors appointments and specialists. Adrenaline carried us through as we searched for a diagnosis, eventually landing on the one that we suspected all along: altitude sickness. However, this form of altitude sickness was fatal. We were overcome with ever emotion as his doctor told us that this condition could lead to heart failure. So much gratitude that our baby boy was still with us, but so much heartache as we watched our dreams of serving in Guatemala slip away.

Each day required bravery to face it. My husband had to make numerous trips to Guatemala to sell our stuff, only bringing back what would fit in a suitcase. Our two-year-old was broken and confused, watching his baby brother almost die and then having his home stripped away at a moment’s notice. Trips to the grocery store required so much courage, knowing that living in a small town I was going to have to recall the whole story each time I ran into someone. Then came the day, when we had to move forward and resign our role as missionaries in Guatemala. We call it, “The hardest and ea