It’s Okay Not to Be Brave: Learning to Let Go in Hard Seasons

By Sara R. Ward

God's Brave Women - Sara's Story

This wasn’t supposed to be my story.

Have you ever said those words to yourself? Have you looked over your life and thought to yourself: This can’t be happening to me?

In 2012, my son died from a terminal genetic disease. We adopted him at birth, a newborn bundle of joy with hazel eyes and curly hair who was broken at the mitochondrial DNA level.

We discovered something was wrong when he was nine months old at a wellness check. The doctor noted that he was developing behind other babies his age and recommended an MRI. As soon as she said those words, I knew there was a problem and I began to cry. How could the son we waited so long for be sick?

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"The doctor noted that he was developing behind other babies his age and recommended an MRI. As soon as she said those words, I knew there was a problem and I began to cry. How could the son we waited so long for be sick? "

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When we brought him to the MRI appointment, they slid his tiny body into a machine where his brain was imaged and spliced onto a computer, looking more like a foreign map than the mind of a little boy with a contagious smile.

Soon after, the doctor read us the devastating news from the MRI report. “It’s consistent with Leigh’s disease,” she said over the phone.