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When Fear and Courage Collide: Facing Infidelity, Loss and Panic with God

By Stephanie Broersma

God's Brave Women - Stephanie's Story

I struggle relating to the term brave, especially when my fear almost stole the stunning views around me.

My body was frozen in fear, chest tightening and hands shaking uncontrollably as they gripped the sides of the basket. We were gliding through air over a thousand feet above ground. My family beamed with smiles as they looked down, shifted from side to side as our pilot shot another long breath of hot air into the magnificent balloon.

I don’t like heights. I once had a stranger rescue me by grabbing my hand while running through the Utah canyons and scaling a rock to get to the connecting trail for a three-day race. My eyes were not capable of looking down or up without getting dizzy from the sheer cliffs of Bryce Canyon. Blocking others from running further, a gentleman firmly grabbed my hand and stayed in grip until we found the wider trail.

Yet, here I was again, in a panicked situation with my family, flying above the forest with my eyes locked on the horizon, knees slightly bent to prevent a full collapse of my terrified body. The hands of my family covered mine throughout the flight.

There are much worse-off times in my life where the fear swirling around should have put me in the fetal position, rocking back and forth, crying for the emotional pain to disappear.

When my husband flipped our marriage upside down through confession, my feet had no solid ground to stand on. Everything I had known prior felt like a nuance of lies, smothered in gifts and pleasantries all to cover-up some facade of a marriage I thought to be valued, honored, and kept unadulterated between my husband and I. A secret kept silent for ten years stole any sense of connection in our seven years of being husband and wife. The sting of pornography and affairs were in compet