When We Hit Rock Bottom: Having the Courage to Hand Over Control
By Latasha Ferguson
God's Brave Women - Latasha's Story
As I was lying there covered in dirt and the wind knocked out of me, I heard a voice whisper, “Are you finally done?” For a moment, I felt like I was outside of myself looking down at what I had become.
I had allowed anger, hatred, and bitterness to cloud my better judgment and convince me to get involved in a physical altercation. Yes, friend, you heard correctly – a physical altercation with onlookers. It was a scene straight out of a reality television show.
This was a very public end of a 7-year toxic relationship that my parents and all who loved me opposed, but I was determined to make happen. It was a relationship that I allowed to pull me away from my first love (God) and left me unrecognizable.
As I hobbled back to my car, shirt ripped, hair standing on end, and dirt-filled tears streaming down my face, I heard the voice again, “Are you finally done?”
I had never cried so hard in my life. Wailing and groaning replaced words that just could not be uttered. My mind was racing. How did I get here? How did I allow myself to stoop so low - to come to a place where I no longer recognized myself?
As I drove home, I realized that the little, small voice was the voice of God beckoning me to let go and pivot. He had been calling over and over for years, but I would not listen, and I was unwilling to relinquish control.