God's Brave Women - Jessica's Story
January 21, 2017 is a date that is forever etched into my very core. This date used to mark the day my world came crumbling down. In hindsight, this was the day my world was just beginning to unfold.
I will never forget walking to the park that brisk winter morning with my husband and two young boys in tow. I remember him turning to me on the park bench, telling me he simply did not love me anymore, and he wanted a divorce as soon as possible. It did not make sense. All the years I stood by him through addiction and abuse and cheating, the numerous counseling sessions, the journey to Baptism at Willow Creek together just a couple months before – nothing added up. Why now? Why after everything we endured together? Did I not do a proper job as the faithful loving wife? Why was I not good enough for this man? Wasn’t I enough?
Shortly thereafter, I learned he moved in the very next day with the woman he had been seeing for a few months prior, without my knowledge. She had a son from a prior relationship. My children immediately went with him to her house on his nights with them. It was as if I had been replaced instantaneously, and my children had a new family already in place. I was left alone and confused. I had never felt this immense amount of heartache in my life.
I struggled for so long, trying to understand why there was so much pain. I thought to myself there is no way anyone else in this world has had to endure THIS much pain – there’s just no way that could be possible. I remember hearing repeatedly that God never gives us more than we can bear. Did God think I was indestructible? Did He make me out to be an unconquerable warrior? When I began to ask these questions, I realized there was a real purpose to my pain. God had lit a fire in me that would prompt me to go on my spiritual journey towards finding my purpose here on Earth.
"I realized there was a real purpose to my pain. God had lit a fire in me that would prompt me to go on my spiritual journey towards finding my purpose here on Earth."