God's Brave Women - Brittany's Story

My story begins with a sin—an act I confidently thought I’d never do.

I was 25-years-old and in leadership at a church in the Midwest. I was also in my first serious relationship, and I knew pretty soon this was the guy I wanted to marry. Life was beautiful and my future looked bright.

I had been a believer for 9 years at this point and during that time had adopted a list of sins I’d assume I’d never do. Sins so unfathomable that “of course” I’d never do them. Sins such as cheating, stealing, drunkenness, and sex outside of marriage, just to name a few. I thought it was impossible I’d ever do such things and as a result, put those sins in a cupboard and shut the door. I never thought about them and certainly didn’t take any precautions against them. They were called my Untouchables.

Two months into the relationship my boyfriend and I did one of the things on that list—sex outside marriage. In just a few moments my world came crashing down like a tidal wave.

In the aftermath I briefly froze in disbelief and then in an instant, the dam let loose a myriad of emotions. Shame. Fear. Sadness. Guilt. And with all of that, the knowledge of what I knew would happen once the news came out to my leadership. It was going to get worse before it got better.

"In just a few moments my world came crashing down like a tidal wave. In the aftermath I briefly froze in disbelief and then in an instant, the dam let loose a myriad of emotions. Shame. Fear. Sadness. Guilt."

The next day I confessed to my best friend what had happened, and I knew that the next day, when I went into work, it was necessary to tell my pastor. I knew I’d likely lose the position I held and would have to step out of ministry.