Bravely Loving the Ones Who Hurt Us: When God Calls Us to Heal and Serve
Updated: Feb 8
By Amanda Schaefer
Brave Women Series - Amanda's Story
It’s raw and biting to remember who I was before I met Jesus. But if I were forced to make a list to describe myself, it would include depression, anxiety, fear, anger, neediness, stress, lack of motivation, self-loathing, and numbness. Ugh, what a list!
I have some early memories of being creative, gregarious, and outgoing, but they are rare flashes of light in an otherwise dark fog. A silencing fear pervaded my childhood. Every day it threatened to snuff out my tiny little light.
Like many, my family had its dysfunctional rhythms. As the youngest of three children, I followed along blindly, not knowing that there was any other way available.
When looking at pictures of me when I was young, my mother still says, “You rarely smiled.” She is astute enough to see that now but couldn’t see it when I needed her to. She had her demons, her traumas, and her battles too.
"When looking at pictures of me when I was young, my mother still says, “You rarely smiled.” She is astute enough to see that now but couldn’t see it when I needed her to."
Recently I asked my followers on social media to describe me. I wanted a fair assessment of how people see me in Christ. As I write this, my hands are trembling. Were they even describing me? This list seems too good to be true.