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The Brave Bride: Facing Addiction within Marriage

Updated: Aug 12, 2020

By Leah Grey

God's Brave Women - Leah's Story

When I married my husband and moved to New York from a small town in rural, Ontario, Canada, I spent the first few years in my apartment afraid of the “big world” outside. I was afraid to go out at night and afraid of the traffic and angry honks from seasoned city drivers. I was especially afraid of the busses – they don’t care what direction you’re driving in when they want in the lane, they just go. I was afraid of losing my way and getting lost in a certain section of town where life looked hard from the window of my car.

When alone, I drove my son to and from his kindergarten school, I went to a nearby grocery store, I walked to the coffee shop around the corner, and I went to Target. That’s all. In my fear and out of a need to have more positive male influences in my young son’s life, I signed him up for Taekwondo - also around the corner. There was another school that was less expensive and had better reviews, but it was too far for comfort.

While inside, I painted and decorated my apartment, I ripped up sheets and made a massive rag rug for my son’s room. I called my parents to chat. I honestly can’t remember what else I did all day, and looking back now, it was one of the only times in my life as a mother that I had no children at home and didn’t have a job. Three children later, what I wouldn’t give to have that kind of free time now!

My whole life, I dreamed of living in New York. When I met my husband, I knew it had to be fate, but as dreams often go, what I experienced when I got there wasn’t what I expected. I certainly didn’t think I would be crippled with fear! I put on my brave face and attempted to channel my inner savvy businesswoman – I would make it in New York.

That’s when I found out about my husband’s addiction.


"Without skipping over the entirety of the pain, I want to preempt by saying no one understands addiction until they’ve lived it. I thought I got it, but I didn’t. I would also say our understanding is limited when it’s only in our own experience."