By Avril Occilien-Similien
Brave Women Series - Avril's Story
I sat there alone. As I heard footsteps approaching, I quickly used my sleeve to wipe away the salty stream running down my face. In secret, the sadness I felt in my heart escaped my eyes as warm tears.
This scenario felt all too familiar. Lately, it had been happening more often than usual. Crying. Hiding. Seemingly for no reason. But why?
As I prayed for insight, God reminded me that secret tears were a constant in my childhood. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I only saw my mom once every two weeks. After each visit, my heart sank with sadness; like clockwork, the tears would well up. Not wanting to make a scene, I would retreat to my bedroom to let the tears flow.
My little heart yearned to express the myriad of emotions flooding my mind, but I lacked the words. My tears were my only outlet but were not always welcomed. They were often met with scrutiny from others and feelings of shame. So, I hid and cried.
"My tears were my only outlet but were not always welcomed. They were often met with scrutiny from others and feelings of shame."
Are tears always undesirable? Do they usually flow from a negative place?
That may be my assumption. But the better question is, what does the Bible say about God’s heart toward tears?
"What does the Bible say about God’s heart toward tears?"
Hagar came to mind. Hagar was a maidservant of Sarai. Sarai could not conceive but wanted to have a child. So, she gave her servant, Hagar, to her husband, Abram. Abram agrees to the plan, and Hagar conceives. This already hurting family is plunged into a web of conflicting loyalties and hidden resentments.
Hagar’s story comes right out of the Scriptures and speaks straight into the life of a person who has never felt deeply loved. Hagar never felt like she was first in anyone’s life. She never felt close enough to anyone who knew who she was and what she felt. There was no one she could count on. But God heard her affliction (Gen. 16:11). Through her tears, she touched the heart of God, and He answered.
In Lamentations, we are exhorted to “Rise during the night and cry out. Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord” (Lamentations 2:19a, NLT). Not only does God encourage us to pour out our hearts in tears, but David informs us in the Psalms that our tears are so precious to God that He collects them.
"Not only does God encourage us to pour out our hearts in tears, but David informs us in the Psalms that our tears are so precious to God that He collects them."
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book” (Psalm 56:8, NIV).
Friend, regardless of your reason or situation, you have permission to cry.
You have permission to courageously embrace the pain while basking in the presence of a God who extends love and grace unconditionally. When facing difficult moments, you have permission to express your emotions openly – however raw – to surrender your fears and anxieties of the future and be fully present in the moment.
"Regardless of your reason or situation, you have permission to cry. You have permission to courageously embrace the pain while basking in the presence of a God who extends love and grace unconditionally."
As you allow these truths to permeate your heart and mind, may your focus shift from the presence of your tears to their deeper purpose.
Your tears are not an inconvenience. They are not a sign of weakness. Tears point our attention toward what matters most. They are a sign of a hurting heart, a crack that needs to be attended to and mended.
"Your tears are not an inconvenience. They are not a sign of weakness. Tears point our attention toward what matters most. They are a sign of a hurting heart, a crack that needs to be attended to and mended."
And there’s good news. God promises to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds (Psalm 147:3).
So let your tears flow, even in the secret place. He is the God who sees, and He collects every tear. Not one hidden. Not one wasted.
"Let your tears flow, even in the secret place. He is the God who sees, and He collects every tear. Not one hidden. Not one wasted."
Brave Woman Manifesto
Make sure to check back next week as another courageous Sister shares her story. And by the way...
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About Avril
Avril finds joy in coming alongside women as they allow God's truth to permeate their hearts and influence their actions. She fulfills this purpose through her ministry “Flow to Power,” where she provides tools and resources to encourage, equip and elevate women on their faith journey.
Avril is a wife, mother, certified Christian life coach, speaker, and writer. She holds a doctorate in Leadership and Organizational Learning and utilizes her expertise to advance the Kingdom both within and outside the church walls. In her “spare” time, she enjoys coffee conversations and tea time with her close girlfriends, traveling, and simply enjoying life. Connect with her on Instagram or visit her website flowtopower.com.