God's Brave Women - Jenny's Story

God's Brave Women - Jenny's Story
As I write this, I ask the question that won’t be answered this side of Heaven. Why? I ask this in the moments of exhaustion or those moments when I attempt to wrap my mind around all that I’ve been through. I want and need to know that there is a purpose for all of this. I close my eyes, shut out all the noise, and remember the one verse that has carried me through, when I didn’t have the energy to stand or receive one more piece of bad news.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11
I was, and still am, strong-willed and determined. At times that has served me well, other times not so much. I grew up always feeling like there was something wrong with me, like I wasn’t enough. I would do anything and everything I could to receive the approval that I still find myself longing for today. It was the beginning of my question… Why?
I married the love of my life at eighteen. I knew I wanted a family, though not right away, but a family with three children at the very least. We had just celebrated being married nine years, and we were finally ready. I went to my doctor and was informed I would need help getting pregnant, but much to our surprise one month later we were expecting. We were beyond ecstatic!
I didn’t have the easiest pregnancy. The baby wasn’t growing as they would like. At 30 weeks, the doctor had a feeling that I would go early, and the decision was made to give me steroid shots to help the baby’s lungs. At 31 weeks, I went in to be checked because something didn’t seem right. The doctor decided that he didn’t want to take any chances. I was going to be on hospital bedrest for the next six weeks at least.
The next morning several nurses and doctors came into the room, and within thirty minutes, I was wheeled off for an emergency C-section. Will was born at 9:23am and weighed only 2 pounds 3 ounces. There was a long road ahead, but God continued to show His goodness throughout the entire ordeal. For such a little guy it was unheard of to not need oxygen, but he never did. He scored a 9 out of 10 on the tests, and the doctors and nurses were completely shocked.
I went in for my six-week follow up and found out I have a blood clotting disorder. While the disorder itself isn’t rare, the likelihood of two mutated genes is. I had the two mutated genes. It explained Will’s small size because the placenta clotted and stopp